Every decision is a choice we choose to make.
How to make better ones?
One common question (and frustration) I often hear asked in my coaching sessions is ‘Why do I keep making these poor decisions even when I know they aren’t right for me?!’
Good questions.
Whether we are deciding if we should eat that extra piece of cake or whether we are choosing if we should take that job offer?
It’s a decision. A choice.
Some people will know what they want, and respond to that want.
And others will kind of know (or not) what would be nice, but the ideal isn’t a big enough motivator to help them make the best decision for themselves.
We can all probably relate to being on either camps at different times of our lives! Or for different decisions in life.
Either way, every decision we make is a choice we choose to take.
The good? A choice we make.
The bad? The ugly? A choice we make.
So why then do we make decisions that don’t serve our bigger vision?
Why is it so hard?
Why do we keep making poor choices?
Because we think our decisions are often a reflection of our logical and rational thinking.
But… it’s more complex than that.
Because,
Emotions play a part in our decisions!
The sooner we get this, the better we get at making decisions. As humans, we like to think we are logical thinkers and decision makers. But let’s be honest.. we are likely to choose to eat something sweet, something comforting (hello bowl of ice cream with chocolate drizzle!) when we’re feeling upset. It’s harder to make rational decisions when we aren’t feeling great.
So before we keep beating ourselves over the last poor choice we made, let’s ask ourselves what we were feeling when making that decision. Being aware of the role our emotions play in our decisions will help us create changes that support our bigger goal.
And perhaps making decisions (or life changing ones) should be left to times when we are feeling better emotionally regulated.
Trying to make too many decisions, all at once!
Be it behaviour changes, or creating a different lifestyle, involves decisions. And sometimes out of excitement and enthusiasm , we try to make too many decisions all at once.
In some situations this may be necessary, especially if there are safety and urgency concerns. However for day to day decisions, we have a greater chance of success when we break it down into bite sized decisions.
It might be a decision to create one time block in the day to go for a walk.
It might be a decision to take a pause before reacting to someone who often triggers you.
It might be a decision to respond with kindness towards a certain person in your life.
One decision at a time is not only easier to make, but also easier to follow through.
Which means that this decision will also more likely give us a result, validating our effort and choice.
Keeping our decisions to ourselves, doesn’t help!
The power of accountability is often underestimated. But when we tell someone about our decisions, we get to be held accountable and responsible for them.
Next time you make a decision to work towards something, tell someone who you can trust and you know can be a great person to cheer you on!
It might be a friend, partner, coach or mentor.
Ask this person to check on your progress, or check in on your effort. Trust that this support will be the added scaffolding for the decision you’ve made.
Sometimes, decisions we have to make in life can be overwhelming, and can seem like a huge task we don’t want to (or ready) to take on.
But if we look at our decisions through the lens of merely taking agency of our lives, knowing that we have the power to change the things within our control, then we can also rest assured that little decisions with consistent effort will compound to give us the progress we need towards the outcomes we desire.
They don’t all happen overnight, but they do happen with one bite sized decision at a time.
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